I’m having one of those days, and maybe you can relate, when I’m questioning so much about the crazy world we live in.  Perhaps it’s the two fight the system documentaries I watched this weekend, a great sermon in church on Sunday, or maybe the crazy morning I had when my electricity went off and changed my mood from happy to angry within seconds.  Recently I’ve been mad as hell about so many things in life.  I try to be a positive person, but sometimes the world around me gets the best of me and I succumb to the negativity that abounds in our daily world.  It raises the biggest question in my mind about so many things-WHY? 

Recently a friend of mine who I’ve worked with before and is best friends with one of my dearest friends was diagnosed with breast cancer.  She’s in her very early 30’s and this was a shock.  I found myself asking WHY would this happen to someone SO young? So many people who teach the law of attraction would say that everyone CHOOSES their experiences and decides what happens to them.  WHY would anyone choose to get cancer at such a young age and have to fight like hell to survive by taking drugs that have such horrible side effects? WHY would anyone choose to go through a struggle so difficult and painful at such a young age? We hear of children dying all of the time and I find it extremely difficult to believe that these children have CHOSEN for this to happen. We see people starving and dying in third world countries.  Women being raped and entire villages and families dying at alarming rates is something we frequently hear about. WHY would they choose this? WHY would anyone choose difficult and bad things to happen to them?  WHY do we let corporations run our lives?  WHY do we set our sights on retirement and WHY is that the only time we can be free?  WHY can’t we all just live leisurely?  WHY is health insurance not available to everyone?  WHY do we have these crazy politicians trying to be the next president and saying and doing foolish things?  WHY? 

Abraham Hicks would explain it as “CONTRAST.”  He would say that we choose these things for contrast in our lives, otherwise we wouldn’t know or appreciate all of the good in our lives.  I think this is a shitty explanation.  I certainly wouldn’t CHOOSE to get cancer, and I certainly didn’t CHOOSE to have asthma as a child! And I’m sure that my father didn’t CHOOSE to have open heart surgery TWICE just for some contrast.  I’m pretty sure because we’re human that we can see the good that is here before us, and that’s why we were brought into this existence in the first place.  I find it very hard to believe that we would CHOOSE horrible and bad things just to see the good. It’s like wearing the tightest pair of shoes and in being pain all day, JUST to feel the release of pain when you finally take those shoes off.  That’s silly, and I don’t believe it.  I do believe that we attract things into our lives, and that by positive thinking we can achieve our dreams.  And yes maybe sometimes we do attract bad things into our lives as well, but to say that someone has CHOSEN to have cancer isn’t a good enough explanation for me.  It’s dismissive, cold, and weak-I don’t buy it.  What is the explanation then? WHY do we have these horrible things in life?  Why does it sometimes seem like God isn’t there?  Even if we look to a divine power or to God for all of the answers, we have to wonder WHY he does the things he does.  If there IS a God WHY would he allow such horrible things to happen? 

I’ve always heard “God has a reason for everything.”  I think this is a bullshit answer as well.  If God is all power and knows EVERYTHING then why can’t he make it easier on us?  Why can’t things just be a little bit simpler for the people here on our planet?  Why does God allow children to die, people to be murdered, and people to suffer?  Why does God seem like he doesn’t care?  And if we’re doing this ourselves, doesn’t that make us crazy assholes? 

I think the answer to these questions is so very complicated, and somewhere down the road we’ll know for sure. For now I want to try to make sense of my questions.  I need to find a solution, something that comforts me and provides me with some resolution. I don’t want to cave into the simple and vague answers.  If we look at Jesus’ life on this earth, he was a living example of the solution in so many ways.  I think of the miracles he performed when he healed the blind, cured the sick, raised Lazarus from the dead, and was able to feed multitudes on so little, and made water into wine.  I think he was showing everyone what we all have the power to do. The world before Christ was such shit, and he came to bring us salvation-salvation from the HELL on earth that everyone was experiencing.  Christ showed us the way God would do it…he showed the people a new way to live.  I think the answers are there—I think we DO some of these things to ourselves or the things we don’t have control over can be fixed by following Christ’s words (which surprisingly enough are SO very similar to the principles of the laws of attraction)…… look at the Beatitudes:

 

As of in Matthew 5:3-12:

·         Blessed are the Poor in Spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of Heaven.

·         Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.

·         Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth.

·         Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness

for they will be filled.

·         Blessed are the merciful,for they will be shown mercy.

·         Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God.

·         Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called sons of God.

·         Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

As of In Luke 6:20-23:

·         Blessed are you who are poor, for yours is the kingdom of God.

·         Blessed are you who hunger now, for you will be satisfied.

·         Blessed are you who weep now, for you will laugh.

·         Blessed are you when men hate you, when they exclude you and insult you and reject your name as evil, because of the Son of Man. Rejoice in that day and leap for joy, because great is your reward in heaven. For that is how their fathers treated the prophets.

“Blessed are you who weep NOW—for you WILL laugh”—he gives this assured statement in most of these beatitudes. There is a guarantee and a promise.  A negative AND a positive.  He gives hope to people who before him didn’t know that hope or change existed.  Jesus taught us that there was another way.  There is another way to every situation .  For those dying children there’s another way…we have to be like Christ and make the change. Whether or not someone has chosen something shouldn’t matter-we have to be the beacons of light in the situation. We need to help HEAL people and create change. Surely this is more of what Christ meant when he said “let your light so shine before men.” I don’t think he meant to hand out literature and pamphlets telling people they were going to hell and to protest abortion clinics. I think he meant to let your light shine to CREATE the change to help people overcome these things that have BEEN since before me.  When we’re enlightened we can teach others how to be enlightened by our own example.

Our wealthy leaders are creating problems for our world. They don’t do much for third world countries, they cause war, they create financial situations that create struggle, and their actions cause much pain to a lot of the world.  This angers me…it angers me that we have climate change and very little is being done. It angers me that people can’t get health insurance and that we have war…but we have to embrace these people with LOVE.  We have to show them what Christ showed us. We have to be independent of our leaders as Christ was.  We have to turn the money tables (occupy Wall Street anyone)?  We have to care for the sick while greedy politicians, lobbyists, pharma companies, etc hold back cures and medicines from us.  We have to love the poor and teach them how to find work. 

So my friends deep down I think the answer is really a mystery. But I think the  real answer is to not ask, but to just accept that life is what it is because WE as a collective have created it to be what it is.  And WE have to change it.  We have to be more Christ like and live his example.  Let your light shine SO bright that others are FORCED to make changes.  Live life with a greater purpose and reach out to those who need help and healing.  Instead of questioning the bad things that happen to us, let’s accept them and help each other heal and get through them.  If we do that we’ll find our way home so much faster.  We’ll find the happiness we desire in our lives, we’ll see change in the world, and we’ll live in the world that God intended us to live in. 

I challenge you to be more Christ like, zen, or whatever you want to call it.  Be a leader of change in this world.  All of us can do it with just one light at a time. Your one little light makes a HUGE difference!  I am confident that 2012 will bring serious change to a world in pain.  Be the change! Please! Someone is waiting for you to be that change. 

Justin

2012 is almost here!!!

I don't think the year 2012 ever crossed my mind, and just always seemed so far away to me when I was a kid.  It's hard to believe another year has gone by, and the older I get the more quickly the time starts flying.  I find this year to be particularly sensitive and meaningful as I'm about to embark upon a new decade of my life.  

Yes I'm about to turn 30! On February 2nd I will officially be done with my 20's.  The closer I get to this date the more excited and scared I become when I realize just how much has happened to me in 30 years.  I have had a lifetime of experiences in 30 years: being born, starting school, graduating with a bachelor's degree, getting my master's degree, having summers off in grade school, playing with my neighborhood friends, experiencing the joy of my Grandma & Grandpa Randolph's lives and then experiencing the pain as they died, experiencing the joy of my Pap & Grandma Moad's lives and then experiencing the painful loss of my Pap and the sad decline to alzheimer's of my Grandma who thankfully is still with us.  I've seen all of these people full of life and vitality decline.  In those 30 years I experienced the divorce of my parents,  my sister getting married, and the beautiful birth of my oldest nephew (who is now 16).  I changed diapers, waited by the phone in anticipation for the other two to be born, woke up many Christmas mornings with them, and in 30 years have seen many friends come into my life and many leave quietly.  There are friends I keep in touch with daily, and others I will never speak to again.  I fell in love with performing in 30  years and have learned to sing and act.  I spent many hours crying, laughing, and screaming.  I fought hard to build my life here in NYC...I discovered who I was...my heart was broken many times in 30 years, and I broke a few along the way before finding my soul mate.  I lost a couple of beloved pets and gained a new one.  I worked many different jobs, lived in many different apartments, and have gained and lost a number of pounds.  I've seen the rise of the internet and cell phones-and remember when the pay phone was the only option.  The many trips to PA will always be in my memory as well as the childhood days that now seem so far away.  
30 years is very young, and to be this young and have this many experiences leaves me full of anticipation for the 30 more that are to come (and more of course). 

 If all of this (and SO much more) can happen in the first 30 years, what is to come?  Sure there are going to be heart aches, pain, and loss.  But I'm full of hope that the next 30 years will bring happiness, joy, success, love, and peace.  In many ways I feel that now as I approach the 30 year mark.  All of my experiences have shaped me. They have made me strong and they have made me who I am now.  I've learned that something seems impossibly difficult at the time it happens, but as time moves on we learn from that experience and we become better and stronger because of it!   I love that about life.  It's the contrast in life that we need as humans.  I want to embrace that and I hope that we all feel the same! 

I'm going to hang on to my 20's for another month! But I'm confident that I will move into my 30's with joy and confidence.  Life is a beautiful thing and we must cherish every moment we have!  I plan on making 2012 a BIG year.  2012 for me is the year of DOING.  Instead of talking about things I want to DO them.  So while I hold on to 29 for a bit longer, let's embrace 2012 and a year of DOING together! 

Happy & Healthy New Year to you all! 
Love
Justin 

As we get closer to 2012 I find myself kind of scrambling for a new strategy plan for myself. I want to try to make a lot of changes next year, be more productive and proactive. I'm having to remind myself that it's ok to relax a bit-it has been a really busy year full of ups and downs.  The challenges of life certainly are never sparse, and neither are the joys of life if we really open our eyes to them.  Trying to find joy in everything I do is something I want to find more of next year. 

I challenge you to find more joy in your life, look to the positive no matter how far away it may seem. That tiny piece of happiness may bring you your biggest breakthrough yet!

I wish you the happiest of holidays! Lots of love and light!
Here's to a great new year!

Love,
Justin

I really didn't write anything in November?
That should tell you how busy things have been.  I'm always frightened to see how much time has actually passed...and this often happens with people too.  "What do you mean we haveven't seen each other in 6 months? It feels like just yesterday" is a phrase that often comes out of my mouth.  November was a good busy month and December is shaping up to be equally if not more full of holiday parties, work, Messiah sing a longs, late night vigils, etc.  I'm excited that we're once again at my favorite time of the season.  We're approaching winter and it's time to warm up by the fire and look inside of ourselves so that when spring comes good things start blooming.

Hopefully you all had a great Thanksgiving and have a wonderful holiday!  Expect great things!

Justin

Changes coming soon! Yay! 
New website with a more simplistic and clean design including:
new photos (headshots, show shots, etc)...
new media & downloads. 
The blog may stay or go...I'm still trying to decide.  Finding simplicity to be the way to go.  Want to start connecting more the old fashioned way-face to face, on the phone.  Mass social networking is getting exhausting to me. 
My thoughts and words need to be more specific, and lately have been more private. 
So here's to a new "beginning."
The site should be up and running within the month. 

Love
Justin

"Leap and the net will appear..."
The net is beginning to appear. 

I have few words right now...lots of change happening which is great.  New photos to come, hopefully a new design as well, and more im

Sometimes there are times in our lives when we just need to be still, silent, patient, and relax and just enjoy the ride.  I haven’t had too much to say lately because I’ve been in this transition period after Bard.  I needed a few weeks to process everything I learned-and I’m still processing and adjusting to being back to my life here in NYC.  Sometimes I find myself wanting to move fast again and wanting to make big changes and push my way through things. Right now I’m feeling a gentle ease in my step, and finding the need to just relax with everything.  There are many new and exciting things around the corner if we just wait patiently. So that’s what I’m doing. 
I’m hoping to have a re-design of my site soon, new headshots, and all kinds of updates.  I guess that’s what life is-updates and changes.  I want to live moment to moment through all the highs and all the lows.  I hope we all can make that commitment. We should all be present in each and every moment of our lives-that’s my biggest goal.

Much love,
JR

So grateful for my experience at Bard doing Bitter Sweet.  
I have no words for the gratitude I feel and also the sadness I feel now that it's over. 
I learned so much as an artist and as a person. 
I will forever hold this experience so very near to me.
Love,
Justin

Cielo-69